2016/10/11

There is an elephant in the corner: It's not "Locker room talk"

There are a bunch of people this week tiptoeing around an elephant in the corner, pretending it's a hatrack. We need to call this out in each and every instance and point out there is a FREAKING ELEPHANT IN THE CORNER.

It is not "locker room talk".

It is not "bad language".

It is not "the way men talk with each other".

It is not "just words".

Donald Trump in 2005 boasted that he habitually sexually assaulted women. Let's get that nailed down from the start, because apparently some people don't believe the Department of Justice:

"Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape."
-- https://www.justice.gov/ovw/sexual-assault

Trump has chosen to deflect and minimize. A bunch of his supporters are choosing to go along. By focusing on the words, they pretend that everybody is upset about some "bad language" and "blowing it out of proportion". They pretend that Trump's non-apology apology is enough and everybody should just move forward and ignore the elephant.

(This lets supporters avoid having to confront the fact that they've been fooled by a dangerous narcissist. It's painful to do this for them; there are huge real world consequences for some Republicans too. But they are enabling Trump's candidacy and for that they bear responsibility.)

I'm guessing nobody who supports Trump would read this. But if you do, or if you know someone who does -- please carefully read the article below. It talks about the issue of minimization of abusive behavior in a family context. It applies equally well to the Trump candidacy.

Finally, any time someone says this is about "just words" or "locker room talk" or "the way men talk" just tell them: No.
We're going to use the correct words -- the best words. It's about sexual assault.

(AFTER we establish that: We can, if we can stomach it, discuss whether he really habitually sexually assaulted women, or whether he just habitually lied about doing it. Either one disqualifies him from even getting close to being President in any sane universe.)

http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2015/12/02/why-minimizing-narcissistic-abuse-is-always-wrong/

[Originally published on Google+ at https://plus.google.com/115608553892438743738/posts/HHt2iMNbShS on Oct 11, 2016.  Subsequent events have confirmed my view of Trump's behavior, and of his supporters.]

2016/10/09

The many meanings of "custodial parent"

Today I Learned: The term "custodial parent" has yet another distinct meaning on top of the five I already knew about. Some of these are almost but not quite the same as each other. Pay attention, there will be a quiz later.

"Custodial parent" can mean:

1. The parent who has physical responsibility for a child in question at a particular instant in time, used when talking about custody schedules.

2. The parent who has the majority of the physical custodial instants in the sense of #1 when compared to a co-parent, across some predetermined regular time period which is context dependent.

3. A parent who has physical responsibility for a child all of the time ("sole physical custody"), except when delegated to others or during visitation with the other parent.

4. The parent who receives net nonzero child support from a co-parent for one or more children. (Terminology used by California Department of Child Support Services.)

5. The parent at whose home the child in question sleeps a majority of the nights in a year, to amount to at least 1/2 of the nights in a year (rounding up), or if the parent is not at their regular home on a particular night, then the child either sleeping at their regular house or sleeping where the parent is counts. (IRS rules for form 2441). Note this can be different from #2. Also there are special rules for parents who work nights.

6. The parent with the legal right to make educational, medical, and other major decisions about a child ("legal custody").

The "noncustodial parent" is the parent who is not a custodial parent. (Both parents can be noncustodial in the sense of #5, and a parent can be "noncustodial" in the sense of #4 but "custodial" in senses 1,2,3,5, and 6. And of course with multiple children, one can be both custodial and noncustodial with respect to different children simultaneously for all of these senses.)

[Originally published on Google+]

Start School Virtual, Go Physical When Feasible

These are my observations for our local conditions (Santa Clara County, July 10-12, 2020), which to summarize: Observations There are still ...